Where oh where oh where is Abby?
by Lu78
Summary: Abby's disappeared without a trace. Where can she be and why did she go?
1. Chapter 1

Author's notes: - I got this idea from another programme that I watch and thought I would try and do it with Abby and Carter. Hope you enjoy and please read and review. It's my life. Disclaimer: - I don't own anyone although I wish I did. Maybe a few of my own characters in chapters to come. Author: - Me.  
  
Carter entered the ER. He was confused he hadn't seen or heard from Abby all day and it was starting to worry him. It was passed six and she should have started by now "Hey guys." He spoke to everyone standing at the admit desk. "Has anyone seen Abby?" He had been in a meeting all afternoon and didn't know anything that had happened down in the ER.  
Everyone looked at one another and then back to Carter. "Haven't you heard?" Lydia finally spoke. "She and Weaver had an argument and it ended in Abby quitting."  
"Abby quit?" Carter couldn't believe what he was hearing. He was going to have to go and find Weaver and get the truth out of her.  
After speaking to Doctor Weaver he still had no idea what was wrong with Abby. Kerry hadn't really given anything away apart from Abby had asked for something and when Kerry said no Abby got angry and quit. He still had a six-hour shift ahead of him but hopefully after he would find Abby and get to the bottom of it all.  
Knocking on the door of her apartment he received no reply. He knocked even louder but still nothing. "Abby!" He called out against the wood of the door. Still nothing. The door to the apartment next door opened. Carter turned to see an elderly woman standing. "Hi do you know if Abby's in?"  
"Speak to the manager. She left this afternoon with all her stuff." Carter stared at the woman in disbelief. Abby had taken off. Why would she do something like that without talking to someone first?  
The apartment manager hadn't been any help. He couldn't give a forwarding address or anything. Carter was getting more and more angry. Why couldn't she have spoken to him? It wasn't like he was a complete ogre. Or was he?  
Arriving back at the mansion he immediately called Susan. "Sus, it's John do you know where Abby's gone?"  
"What do you mean gone, Carter?" Susan sounded confused. I know she had an argument with Weaver but I thought she would just take a few days and then come back all full of apologies."  
"No, I went passed her apartment to talk to her and she's moved out with no forwarding address. I thought at least she would have spoken to you."  
"No such luck I'm afraid. Susan I have to find her." Susan had never heard John sound so desperate before.  
"Don't worry I'll help you." 


	2. Chapter 2

Author's notes: - Well here comes chapter two. Hope you are enjoying. I know it may not sound like much just now but I promise there is more to come. Disclaimer: - Same as before. Author: - Same as before. ME!  
  
Twelve weeks later  
  
It's been twelve weeks and still there have been not sightings of Abby. No one has heard from her or seen her. It's very strange for someone who was having such a good time in her life to just disappear without a trace. Carter had tried the police. He tried to list her as a missing person but they said that if she left of her own free will then technically she wasn't a missing person. Starting an early shift was always hard but since Abby had disappeared it became harder and harder for him to get out of bed in the morning. Making his way to County he was thinking of the last conversation he had with Abby.  
  
****  
"Hey sweetheart." Carter crept up behind Abby sliding his arms round her waist. She smelled so good even after a twelve-hour shift. "You off?"  
"In about ten minutes yes." She seemed a little distracted but nothing out of the ordinary. She had suffered the wrath of Romano all night and was looking forward to having the day to herself. She had some things to do.  
"Well, I'm off at six so see you after that. I'll come round and we can have a meal or something. Your choice." He smiled as he whispered in her ear.  
"As much as I would love to I'm on again at six. Maybe another night." She turned in his arms and slid her arms round his back. Reaching up she gave him a quick kiss before disappearing.  
  
That was the last he saw of her.  
  
****  
"Carter!" He heard Haleh shouting on him as he neared the end of his shift. "Carter!" She called again.  
"Yes Haleh and what can I do for you?" He was tired as he was every day. He wasn't sleeping at night and working so hard.  
"Well I was talking to a friend of mine who works over at Northwestern. She was saying that there is a woman fitting Abby's description there on a regular basis. She doesn't know if it is her or not but it's the only lead we have had since she been gone."  
"Haleh you are a star. Thank you and thank your friend." He couldn't believe it. He finally had a lead to look for her.  
  
An hour later Carter and Susan were taking a walk down by the river. Carter loved coming here. Abby and he would walk here all the time. He could see someone standing by the spot he would stand on a regular basis. He didn't think anything of it. "I can't believe it Susan. I may be able to find her." He looked up just as the person started to walk away. "Susan, it's her." He started to run after the woman who had been standing by the river. But never caught up with her.  
Susan ran after him. "Carter are you sure it was her? She wouldn't run away from you if she knew it was you."  
"It looked like her but I don't know there was something different about her. Something that I can't put my finger on." Carter rubbed his chin. Was it her or was he just imagining again. 


	3. Chapter 3

Walking into Northwestern the following day Carter had a good feeling that he was going to find Abby. He had to; he was going out of his mind with worry. What if the woman he had seen the night before was her? She looked terrible. Walking up to the reception desk he felt nervous. He wasn't exactly sure why but he knew he could ask for her. "Hi there, I was wondering if you could help me I'm looking for someone named Abby Lockhart, may be going under the name of Abigail Lockhart or Abigail Wysenski."  
"Patient or worker?" The woman asked knowing in herself who he was looking for.  
"I'm not entirely sure, worker I hope." He smiled nervously at her. He couldn't help it, what if she really was ill and a patient.  
"Go to the fourth floor, they help you out up there." The woman smiled warmly at him. She liked the woman he was looking for. She had got to know her with her frequent visits.  
"Thank you." Carter said before heading to the bank of elevators that sat to the right of the reception area.  
On the fourth floor, he stepped out to realise that he was on the oncology floor. He walked over to the reception area. "Abigail Lockhart?" He asked the young girl sitting behind the desk.  
The girl looked up. She actually looked shocked that someone was asking for Abby. Abby had been here for almost twelve weeks and no one had come asking about her. "Eh, room four." She stuttered.  
Carter thanked her before heading in the direction she was pointing. Approaching room four he took a deep breath and gasped as he looked in and found his worse fear. There in front of him lay Abby. Her back was too him so she couldn't see him. He could see the IV line going into her arm, the oxygen mask across her face and the cover wrapped loosely around her waist. He watched as her body started to shake with cold. Goosebumps appeared on her pale flesh. It took him all his courage not to rush into the room and take her into his arms. He watched as the nurse walked up to the side of the bed and pulled the duvet up under Abby's chin.  
The nurse spotted him and walked towards the door. She opened it and offered for him to come in. Carter shook his head but motioned for the nurse to follow him. He needed answers. "What is wrong with her?" His voice didn't sound strong at all.  
"You don't know? Wait who are you?" The nurse suddenly realised she had never seen this man before.  
"My name is Doctor John Carter MD. I was.. AM this woman's boyfriend. She disappeared on me about twelve weeks ago and I have only just found out where she was. Now will you please tell me what is wrong with her?" Tears glistened in his eyes.  
The nurse after listening to his story actually felt sorry for the man standing in front of her. "Ms Lockhart has breast cancer."  
Carter felt as if the wind had been knocked out from inside of him. The love of life had been suffering and she hadn't let him in. "I'll be back." He said to the nurse before heading back to the elevators. He had to get Susan.  
Taking the elevator back to the ground floor he got his cell phone out and called Susan. "Susan, can you come to Northwestern?"  
"Why?" Susan sounded confused. Why was he asking her to go to another hospital? "Have you been in an accident?"  
"No, just come. Meet me in reception." He said before ringing off. He paced the floor before seeing the drinks machine calling his name. He hadn't realised how dry his throat was until he saw it.  
Twenty minutes later Susan walked in the door. She walked straight up to Carter hugging him seeing how distressed he was. He took her hand and led her upstairs to the fourth floor. "Carter you still haven't explained why I'm here." She said to him as he pulled her towards his previous standing place. He pointed in the window. "Oh my GOD!" Susan gasped as she saw the sight that had Carter floored.  
Abby has moved slightly causing the duvet to fall around her waist again. They can both see her face now and she doesn't look like their Abby. She is so thin and pale. She starts to shake again from the cold. The nurse is still the same one from before. Again she lifts the duvet and tucks it around Abby's body. She comes back out to where Carter and Susan stand. "You came back?"  
"Said I would. This is Doctor Susan Lewis a very good friend of mine and Abby's." Carter introduced Susan. "Sorry in all the confusion before I didn't catch your name."  
"Hallie Majors. I'm Abby's oncology nurse. You didn't give me a chance before to explain myself. Abby has breast cancer. It was discovered approximately twelve weeks ago and she has had surgery and is now going through treatment. She doesn't take the chemo all that well. But she's a fighter. We didn't think she had anyone."  
"Well you see she worked at County General and we were dating when she all of a sudden disappeared and we couldn't find her until a friend said she had been spotted here."  
"She doesn't talk much but maybe with you guys she will finally open up." Hallie opened the door and let Carter and Susan enter. They both didn't know what to do or say. She looked peaceful lying there. She had turned again but managed to keep the duvet with her. How were they going to speak to her after all this time and now what they knew about her. 


	4. Chapter 4

Walking up to the side of her bed Carter couldn't help but gasp. She looked terrible. Her hair, well what was left of it lay strewn across the pillow. She had lost a lot of it due to her treatment. The nurse had replaced the oxygen mask with a nasal canula. Her cheeks and eyes seemed sunken into her face. Susan stood behind Carter. "John I can't do this. I just can't." She said before running from the room.  
Out in the hallway Susan stood with her back against the wall breathing deeply. Tears streamed from her blue eyes landing in puddles on her sweater. She couldn't believe that it was her best friend lying in that bed. Her best friend was so full of life and always there. Why was this happening to her?  
Back inside the room Abby began to stir but was very groggy. She took a few minutes to finally focus on Carter's face. "John." Her voice was croaky, her throat dry.  
"It's all right baby, I'm here." Carter ran his hand over her face. He couldn't stop the tears from running down his face.  
Abby shook her head. "Don't cry. Please." Abby turned to lie on her back. She looked in pain. "I'm fine really."  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Carter tried to sound angry but he couldn't. Just looking at her lying there, he had so many emotions running round inside of him he couldn't explain.  
"I can't talk about this now. I am so tired." Abby turned again back onto her side. "I get home tomorrow, come over around three and I'll try and explain. Please baby, don't cry."  
John wiped away his tear. She had called him baby. He leaned over her and kissed her softly on the forehead as she drifted back off to sleep. He walked up to Hallie. "Hi, can you give me Abby's new address? She moved as well and I don't know where she lives."  
Hallie handed him a sheet of paper with the desired information on it. "John, don't worry about her, honestly. The chemo really takes it out of her. She doesn't seem to take it well and no one has an explanation for it. She will be better tomorrow, promise."  
"Thanks." He said. "For everything. I don't' have the words to express what I am feeling right now. I love her so much and have been worried silly for three whole months. Now to find her and find out everything that has happened to her, it kills me inside. You have looked after her so well. Thank you."  
"No need to thank me John, she's done all the hard work." Hallie laid her hand on Carter's arm.  
Carter left the room and found Susan sitting in the waiting area. "Susan are you all right?"  
Susan sniffed back her tears. "I'm fine. I'm sorry about in there. I just couldn't stand back and watch her go through all this."  
Carter took Susan into his arms. "I know it's difficult but we have to be there for her. She's going home tomorrow and I'm going across to speak to her and find out exactly what happened three months ago to make her walk out and leave us all."  
They walked out the hospital together. "I have to get back. I'm due on in half an hour." Susan spoke as they walked into the brisk air.  
"Me too. I just don't know if I can face everyone." Carter ran his hand through his hair. "They all deserve to know the truth but I don't know if I can really tell them anything right now."  
"Well we don't tell them anything." Susan said plainly.  
"I think it's going to be obvious that we know something." John replied, a hint of a laugh in his voice.  
"What makes you say that?" Susan sounded confused.  
"You really need to look in a mirror, Sus. I'm afraid to say that it's not a pretty sight." He laughed at Susan's tear streaked face and presumed that he didn't look any better.  
"I see what you mean. Maybe a stop at your place first then." She smiled as they headed to Carter's jeep. 


	5. Chapter 5

At three thirty the following afternoon Carter stood outside Abby's new apartment door. He was so nervous. He wasn't even sure what he was going to say to her. Knocking lightly on the door, he stood back and waited for her to answer. He heard her faint voice from inside. "John is that you?"  
"Yes." He was surprised by how strong his voice sounded.  
"There's a key under the mat." Her voice sounded so sweet.  
He found the key and cautiously opened the door. Stepping into the apartment he saw how bright and airy it was. The main room was sparsely decorated with only her sofa, television and coffee table. He could see her lying on the sofa under her duvet. He smiled walking across to her. She had a smile on her face but a look of worry. She had covered her head with a red bandana and was wearing an oversized blue sweater. "Hey." He said sitting on the edge of the coffee table.  
She smiled a bit wider. Then she looked hard into his eyes. "I'm sorry." She finally spoke.  
He looked at her in surprise. "What are you talking about?" He desperately wanted to reach out and take her into his arms.  
"I'm so sorry that I never told you. John I've gone through so much in the last while that I haven't been able to tell you. I thought I was doing everyone a favour by not telling them and not burdening them with it all but seeing your face yesterday and how much I hurt you, I realised that I had been wrong."  
"Abby, I wish you had spoken to me, but can you tell me exactly what happened and why you disappeared so quickly. You see to have done well for yourself. Your apartment is lovely but you had a perfectly fine apartment with lots of people who love you. Why couldn't you just tell me?" Carter was sounding exasperated.  
Abby took a deep breath before continuing. "John what I have to say is going to take me a while and I am probably going to need a break in the middle. I can't seem to stay awake for long periods of time at the moment, but if you have the patience then I'd like to tell you everything." Carter simply nodded and took a hold of her hand. It felt so bony in his. Taking another deep breath Abby began. "Firstly do you remember when I went away for a few days before I disappeared? Eh, I was in Minnesota. Maggie," Abby paused. "Maggie died." She could feel the grip from Carter's hand get tighter. "I went down to bury her and clear up the house. Eric doesn't know. I couldn't find him so I did it all by myself. It was weird doing it all. It was something that when I was young I dreamed of but now we were finally getting back on track. It was while I was clearing out her house that I discovered the lump. So when I came back to Chicago I went to see the oncologist at Northwestern who examined me and told me that he would perform the operation. He told me that I would need at least six weeks off work depending on what treatment was needed. When I spoke to Weaver, I asked for a leave of absence for personal reasons. She told me that if I couldn't give a reason then no I couldn't have it. SO I then told her where she could stick her job. I left county and then packed up the apartment. I know of this one, and that I could move in immediately so I did." Abby started to cough. "Could you pass me the bucket please?" John obliged before she started vomiting into it. He felt so helpless but knew that this was one side effect of the chemo. He rubbed her back not knowing if it was helping. She vomited till she had nothing left. As she lay back against the pillows, she closed her eyes. "John there is still so much to tell you but I need to sleep. Please stay. Make you self comfortable, there's food in the fridge if you get hungry." The last line was rather slurred as she fell into a deep slumber. Carter pulled the duvet up round her before kissing her forehead and letting her sleep. He walked into the kitchen and sat down at the table. He was trying hard to understand everything that she had told him. It was such a lot to take in but still there was more to come. He couldn't believe that she had gone through Maggie's funeral on her own. She was just so stubborn sometimes. But no matter what he was going to be there for her from now on. 


	6. Chapter 6

Sorry it has taken me so long to update. Life a little hectic at the moment. Please enjoy and then reveiw. I live for reveiws. Moon's tear:- Thank you for the constant reveiws and the encouragement to keep going. I have hit a bit of a writers block but hopefully it will come back soon.  
  
Waiting for her to wake up John had a look around her new apartment. He had been sitting in the kitchen watching out the window. He realised that she certainly had a better view from last time. Her look over the city was impressive. Walking from the he landed back in the lounge. HE glanced over to where she lay, breathing softly with a slight snore. He couldn't help but smile at her. She was still beautiful even after all she had been through.  
He felt a bit guilty when walking into her bedroom even though he was still technically her boyfriend. Her bed faced the huge window looking out over the city. On top of her dresser sat her perfume and body lotion. He had to smell them. It was the silly things like hat he had missed. Sitting behind them was the photograph taken at one of the may foundation benefits they had attended. They both looked so smart and so in love. Her head was resting on his shoulder, his arm protectively round her waist. Both with huge smiles on their faces. He walked into the bathroom which smelled of trademark Abby. Her shampoo and shower gel were so distinctive. Smells he would never tire of. Walking back into the bedroom there was a photo on the night stand he had never seen before. He walked over to it picking it up. It showed them both in the lounge at the hospital, asleep on the sofa. He couldn't remember it being taken or being told about it. They both looked so peaceful, he being a pillow for Abby as usual. Her back against the sofa, head resting on his chest while one of his arms was casually wrapped round her waist the other was caressing her hair. He smiled at the picture guessing who was behind the camera.  
On returning to the living room Carter could see Abby was beginning to stir. He walked back across to the coffee table and sat down. "Hey you stayed." She exclaimed as her eyes opened fully.  
"Of course. I would never leave you." Carter said, but regretted it straight away when he saw the look on her face. "Wait, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it like that."  
Abby sighed. "I know, it's just I left you and I wouldn't blame you if you did leave." She took a deep breath. "John I still can't comprehend what you have gone through these last weeks, only know that I am sorry."  
"Don't you worry about me just worry about getting yourself better." John reached over and put his hand on hers. She allowed her fingers to intertwine with his, feeling safe.  
"SO what's been happening at County since I've been gone?" Abby asked quickly changing the subject.  
"Well, you ready for this. There has been lots." Carter let his hand out of hers as he rubbed his forehead, then returned his hand to hers. "Kerry and Sandy are expecting a child. They went through IVF and Sandy is now almost four month's pregnant."  
"That's great. Kerry went through so much last time when she miscarried." Abby rubbed her forehead. She was remembering that fateful day in the ER when Kerry miscarried. Abby had been with her. No-one else was with her.  
"Yeah it is. They are both so happy. Let's see what else, Gallant has been seeing our new nurse. Her name is Melinda. She is no where near as good as you. But he certainly likes her. Pratt is still a prat basically. He and Deb broke up. She left and is now working in Atlanta. We haven't heard from her in a couple of weeks but the first few weeks of a new job are always busy."  
"Wow, I can't believe that she's gone. I thought she would always be there. I don't know why but I just did. What about Susan?" Abby was almost whispering. Susan was her best friend and she had deserted her too.  
"Susan has been a rock since you left. We've done lots together, but she has had her own life too. Her and Chuck are still going strong. They are even talking marriage again. Susan didn't want to go through with anything until we found you. She came yesterday to see you but couldn't stay."  
"I miss her so much." Abby looked to be on the verge of tears. "I missed everyone, but the way I missed you and Susan, I can't explain it. I have never felt so lost. Lying in that hospital bed everytime all I could think of was you. All I wanted to do was lie in your arms and you to tell me everything was going to be okay." Tears flowed freely down her cheeks.  
Carter moved closer to her as if asking permission to hold her. She nodded and allowed herself to fall into his arms. Carter held her close allowing her to cry. He could feel her tears soak into his shirt.  
She cried for ten minutes before try deep breaths to control her tears. It seemed to work, although she did start to hiccup. And with the hiccuping she began to wretch. Carter handed her the bowl before she was sick again. Being sick really took it out of her. After vomiting she lay her head back down on her pillow and fell back asleep again.  
While she slept this time Carter lifted the phone and called Susan. He knew that she would want to be here and that Abby would want her there. She arrived pretty quickly. She hesitated before walking across to the sofa where Abby lay. "She looks so tiny." Was her first comment.  
"I know but she's tough. Susan, you have no idea what she has gone through." Carter said sitting back down on the sofa beside Abby's feet. He lifted them onto his lap.  
Abby began to stir and when she finally opened her eyes and saw Susan they filled with tears. "Susan I am so sorry." Abby said almost breaking down again.  
Susan leaned down for a hug. "It's all right. You're here now and that's all that matters." 


	7. Chapter 7

Where oh where oh where is Abby?  
  
Chapter seven.  
  
John walked into the ER the following morning, glad to see everyone around the admit desk. He walked over even before taking his jacket off. "Guys, listen can I have your attention." He jumped onto the desk and sat himself down so everyone could see him. He could see Susan standing at the back, knowing exactly what he was about to say. "Two days ago I found Abby."  
There was lots of excited chatter after he had said this. "Where is she?" Said one. "Where's she been?" Said another. "Why'd she go?"  
"If you give me a chance to explain, I'll tell you." John took a deep breath before beginning what he had to say. He was glad the ER was quiet today. He didn't think he could tell the story over and over again. "Abby disappeared on us because everything got too much for her. Her mother died a little over three months ago and she had to deal with everything on her own as they couldn't locate her brother, but since then she has been fighting breast cancer." An almighty gasp emerged from the crowd. "She moved apartments and has been undergoing treatment at Northwestern. She's been really ill and still isn't doing too well but as we all know she is a fighter. She's sitting out in the car waiting to see you all but please a word of advice. Don't look at her in sympathy. Look at her like Abby. She is a lot thinner than we remember and she has a lot less hair but she is still Abby underneath. Still the dry sense of humour, still as sarcastic as ever, still as beautiful as ever. Just don't over crowd her." John jumped back down off the desk before heading out the ambulance bay doors to get Abby out of his jeep.  
Being wheeled inside Abby felt the sudden urge to run away but she couldn't, her legs didn't work properly. John had told her that everyone was at the admit desk and she was fully expecting them all still to be there. Most were, but most had to go and see patients. In a way she was glad that they weren't all there. Susan came up to her straight away and hugged her. "It really is great to see you again."  
"Thanks Susan." Abby managed to speak. She could see all her friends standing behind Susan waiting to see her. It was nice to see them but she felt rather overwhelmed by it all. Everyone hugged her quickly before running off to a trauma. John had somehow got called into it. He wheeled her into the lounge and apologized. She sat in her chair staring round the room. So much had happened in that room and many others in the ER.  
She had been sitting for a while when the door opened. Luka and Kerry entered the room and seemed shocked to see her. "Abby what are you doing here? I thought you quit?" Kerry's tone said she wasn't happy to see Abby. It also indicated that neither of them had seen her wheelchair. Or the fact that she looked ill.  
"I did Kerry. I came to visit." Abby said flatly.  
"Where have you been all this time?" Luka finally managed to speak.  
"The other side of Chicago, attending Northwestern."  
"You've been working somewhere else?" Kerry seemed to spit out.  
"I take it none of you have seen anyone else." They both shook their heads. "In case you haven't noticed that I look ill and am in a wheelchair. I have been attending Northwestern for chemotherapy. I have breast cancer, which was why I asked for time off Kerry. You didn't seem to want to listen when I asked so I left. If you'll excuse me." Abby couldn't take it anymore. She wheeled herself out and headed towards the elevators. She wondered if she could get up to the roof by herself. 


	8. Chapter 8

Sorry it ahs taken me so long to update. Been really busy with Christmas and stuff. But hopefully for the next two weeks I will be able to update more often. Am off work until the 12th and housesitting with not much else to do so more writing is called for. Thanks again for reading and please if you like, leave me a review I love to receive them.  
  
The roof meant so much to her. So many memories passed through her head as the elevator doors slid open to reveal her favourite place in the whole of the city. Her wheelchair easily glided over to the edge of the cemented area, the gravel would prove that little bit more difficult. Trying and trying again it just wouldn't go. She eased herself onto her feet and took the slow, tentative steps to where she really wanted to be. The edge of the roof. From there she felt like she was on the top of the world.  
Reliving some of her memories from her times on the roof, she thought back to the first time she had found the roof and how its air ad calmed her. She was working in OB and had just experienced a really tough birth, which resulted in the mother not making it. Coming up to the roof she immediately felt better about herself.  
Times that she had come up to reflect on things that had happened in her life. Like the day Eric's plane had gone down and she hadn't expected him to live. She had come to the roof tot try and find her serenity that she normally felt. Gallant had followed her, holding an umbrella in case it rained. Gallant was such a good friend. He had really helped her out when she needed to go to Nebraska and find Eric when he had been arrested.  
She could even remember that fatal night when Eric's plane had been found and Carter found her smoking her half cigarette up here. He had shouted a proposal that night. 'Why didn't I answer him yes that night?' She thought to herself. And as if b y magic the elevator doors swished open to reveal the man in her thoughts.  
"Abby what are you doing up here by yourself?" He asked, his voice full of concern. "Are you okay?" HE asked as he approached her. HE was a little unsure of why she was up here and why she was out of her wheelchair.  
"I'm fine John. I just needed to be in my favourite place. Needed time to think. Needed to get away." John looked at her with a hint of confusion again. "I saw Weaver and Luka. Weaver almost balled me out for being here and she thought I had been working at Northwestern. Wasn't she shocked when I told her I was ill?" John stood by her side gently rubbing her back. She had been standing for a while and was starting to get a bit tired but wasn't going to let it beat her. "John I was thinking back to all the times I've been standing on this roof just looking out over the city with so much on my mind. And the one time that sticks out in my mind is when you shouted that proposal at me. I wish so much now that I had answered you."  
John stared down to Abby. She looked so small and fragile. "I wish you had answered me too." He turned her chin with his finger so she was looking at him. "Abby you know that I love you and I will love you now and forever. The offer still stands you know. I still want to take you as my wife."  
Tears shone in Abby's eyes. She stared into his deep brown orbs seeing his tears glisten back at her. He had so much love and adoration in his eyes for her. "And I want to be that wife for you." She finally managed to choke out. He took her into his arms and cradled her. She had finally agreed to marry him.  
After standing for a few more minutes she looked up to him. "John, I'm really tired. Can you take me back home?"  
He smiled. "Anything for you Princess." He scooped her up into his arms and headed back to her chair. 


	9. Chapter 9

Well I did promise I would update quickly so I am trying to keep that promise. Hopefully this is as good as the rest of the story has been. Please let me know.  
  
Three months later.  
  
Sitting in that waiting room was worse that all the months of Chemotherapy. Abby was as nervous as ever. She was waiting on the latest results from the tests she had taken part in only three days previous. The three-day wait had been a killer. But she now had someone by her side to keep her mind off the wait. He sat by her now, his thumb gently caressing the back of her hand. Just a simple touch letting her know that he was there. It was the thing she loved about him. That and that he had been with her through everything since he had fond her.  
He was the one with her when she went through the chemotherapy. He was the one to pull up the covers when she got cold, rub her back when she vomited, keep her strength up when she didn't want to go on and generally be with her through all the tough times. And to her there had been many rough times. There were days when she just didn't want to go on anymore. Days where everything just got so bad for her that she had even considered suicide but then John would walk into the room and sweep her up into his arms swinging her around and around and make her thoughts seem so silly.  
"Abigail Lockhart." The receptionist called her name. John stood, not letting go of her hand. He gave it a slight squeeze before she finally stood.  
They walked into the brightly lit room of Abby's oncologist, Doctor Bader. Hallie was in the room too. They were both smiling which John took to mean that there was good news to be told. "Abby, John we are so glad that you could both be here this afternoon and we must apologise for the results taking so long to come through."  
"That's okay Jennifer." Abby's voice sounded strong but as John held her hand he could feel her shaking. "So what's the verdict?"  
"Well Abby, " Doctor Bader seemed ready to burst, "your cancer has gone into remission."  
Abby gasped. She was through the worst. She could feel John's hand tighten on her own as he leaned over to kiss her. She couldn't believe what she w2as hearing. "You mean it?" She finally managed to speak. Abby leaned over taking John's arm. He stretched his arm around her shoulders pulling her closer to him.  
"I mean it Abby, you're through it." Doctor Bader walked round beside Abby and John and gave Abby a short hug. Hallie was a bit more enthusiastic, she didn't' seem to want to let Abby go.  
Abby stood and practically threw herself into John's arms. Tears blinded her, before she finally allowed them to fall. For now she was okay. She knew that it might not always be so. There would always be the threat that it would come back but for now she was okay. "Thank you so much Jennifer. You too Hallie. I don't know how I would have got through these last six months without you both."  
"It's been our pleasure Abby." Jennifer Bader was just happy that she had a happy ending to her favourite patient.  
Leaving Northwestern no one could wipe the smile from Abby's face. John's either. They were both so happy. "So does this mean we can start planning a wedding?" John smiled as he turned to his fiancé.  
"I guess it does baby." Abby smiled as she answered him before leaning up to kiss him. 


	10. Epilogue

Epilogue  
  
Where, oh where, oh where is Abby?  
  
Three years later  
  
It was their special day to celebrate, well one of their special days anyway. It was three years ago, to the day that Abby had been told her cancer was in remission. It was now etched on the calendar in the kitchen along with all the other special dates in their lives. So many dates, so much information.  
  
December the 19th 2004 - The day Abby was told she was in remission.  
  
December the 25th 2004 - The day John proposed properly and gave Abby the ring he always wanted to. "Merry Christmas Princess." John wakened Abby from her happy slumber. They had both beenliving on cloud nine for the last few days since she had been given the all clear from Doctor Bader.  
"Morning baby, why are we up so early?" Abby softly said, her voice still laced with sleep.  
"I have somewhere I want to take you." He proclaimed, slipping the duvet from round her body. He was noticing differences already. She had put on weight since he had first found her and her hair was slowly coming back.  
Once they were both dressed, he place a blindfold over her eyes and led her out to the car. After a short drive they arrived at John's special place. Abby had no clue to where they were, until he finally took the blindfold off. They were on the roof of the hospital. "John why are we here?"  
"I wanted to do this properly." John dropped down onto one knee and took her left hand in his. "Abigail Lockhart, you know you mean the world to me. I have wanted to do this properly after my first failed attempt. Will you do me the honour of becoming my wife?"  
Tears streamed from Abby's eyes. "Of course I will." She answered as he slipped his grandmothers engagement ring on her finger.  
  
May the 25th 2005 - Susan and Chuck's Wedding Day  
It was the day Susan had waited for. A proper wedding instead of a drive through wedding chapel in Vegas. She looked fantastic as she walked down the aisle. John smiled to her and she smiled back. They had both joked only the night before about his crush on her when he had first started at County as a med student. His smile got wider as he saw who was walking down the aisle behind her. Abby was maid of honour and looked stunning. Her hair now sat at jaw length. Not as long as she would have hoped it to be. But at least it was her own. She was so pleased for her friend, knowing that Susan would be returning the favour when she and John married.  
  
March the 14th 2006 - John and Abby's Wedding Day  
It was a day that they had both waited a lifetime for. They day tat they would finally be joined. Abby had originally wanted a small quiet affair but then realised just how many people she would be leaving out if she had done so. John then got his wish of the huge elaborate wedding, set in the grounds of the family mansion. He was only sorry that his grandmother and her mother were not there to join in the celebrations.  
The day, although early in the year, was bright, sunny and somewhat warm. The sun shone from first light until it set in early evening. They married at three pm under an arbour of white lilies and pink roses. Her hair had fully grown back and she wore it long in curls that framed her face the way John loved it.  
Everyone form County ER was there, excluding Kerry Weaver. She had declined the offer of an invitation, saying someone had to watch the ER. It wasn't entirely a lie but since her comments to Abby while she was sick, neither of them had seen eye to eye. Susan as promised was maid of honour although she didn't want to be. She was six months pregnant at the time and didn't want to look like a balloon in their wedding photographs. Abby didn't care though; everything was just perfect for that day.  
As the minister pronounced them husband and wife, the sunset and fireworks went off in the sky. Everyone was so happy, including the bride and groom.  
  
August the 30th 2006 - Abby announces she is pregnant.  
"John, you home." Abby called out as she arrived in the door. John had finished work approximately an hour before Abby had walked in so he would hopefully be home.  
"I'm in the study." His voice seemed to echo around the house. Abby ran towards the study with a huge grin on her face. She had the best news to tell John. "Hey honey, you okay?" He asked seeing the look on her face.  
"I have just received the best news." John looked at her with questioning eyes. "We're pregnant." She shouted to him. He got up form his chair and ran across to her lifting her into his arms and swinging her around.  
"I love you Mrs Carter."  
"I love you too, Mr Carter."  
  
February the 22nd 2007 - Baby Alyssa Margaret Millicent Carter is born.  
Abby had the easiest pregnancy ever. Much easier than Susan's. Susan had given birth eight months earlier to a handsome little fellow they had named Michael John. She had such a rough time throughout and even while giving birth. 48 hours in labour before Michael decided to make an appearance.  
Abby however had such and easy time and baby Alyssa ended up being born at home. The ambulance didn't arrive in time. Her father only just made it. She would arrive a week early before he had the time off work.  
John was working a late shift, due to finish around 10pm. Abby was at home with only the staff to keep her company. John had decided that once they were married they should move into the mansion. Abby hadn't complained. It certainly was nice to have someone do everything for you.  
While on her own with just Helen, the cook, Abby's water broke at around 9.30pm, with her labour progressing very quickly afterwards. Helen had managed to call John who came rushing home.  
Arriving in the house her followed Abby's screams to the lounge where she lay in front of the fire. He went straight to her side where he could see his child's head already crowning. "Abby you can do this baby. Our baby is almost here."  
"What about the ambulance?" Abby sounded panicky.  
"It's all right princess, everything is all right." He moved down to between her legs and saw the head more prominently. "Abby on your next contraction I need you to push for me okay." Abby pushed with all her might and within a minute a newborn babies cry was heard. "Abby we have a daughter." John exclaimed as he held up their child to show her. He quickly laid the baby on top of Abby's chest while Helen placed a towel over them to keep the baby warm.  
John came back to sit beside her. "You did it princess. We have our own little Angel." Abby looked up to John with so much emotion in her eyes. She stretched up and kissed him. They were finally a family after never thinking they would be.  
  
December the 19th 2007  
"Just think what has happened in three years." John said as he placed the star on top of the tree. He turned to see his wife and baby daughter watching him from the sofa. Susan, Chuck and Michael sat on the other couch. "Just think if I had never found you, we wouldn't be sitting here now."  
"I am so glad you found me John. I couldn't ask for a better life." She said, kissing him before kissing Alyssa. "Thank you for everything."  
"No thank you."  
  
Author's notes: - I am so sorry if the epilogue is a bit long but didn't think all the little bits would make good long chapters. So I'll apologise now. Thank you for all the support throughout this story, (Especially Moon's tear.), I have loved reading you reviews and it has made me want to continue with it. I'd love to hear what you think of the ending so please don't be shy. Review and make me happy. 


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